By Christ Jesus

My dear friend, my "long-time, been through a lot together" buddy, new acquaintances, sweet sisters, and bedrocks in my life... all running through my head during this time when sleep should be taking over my physical body, bringing rest to my emotions, and recharging my brain for the long day ahead.  

I'm just laying here and these thoughts of mine are racing.  This is the way it goes for me.  Sleep is interrupted and I stare into the unrelenting darkness wishing for that precious rest to overtake me.  It doesn't tonight.  

And so I do what any good, God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Word-quoting girl would do.  I pout and toss and turn and keep playing the images, the faces, the moments over and over in my mind until I have FINALLY. HAD. ENOUGH.  

And then this happens...

From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety  Psalm 61:2 (NLT)  

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord 'He is my refuge and my strength, my God in Whom I will trust.'"  Psalm 91:1&2 (NKJV)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds by Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6&7 NKJV

I am reminded of His promises to me.  I am reminded that my efforts to ward off the darkness and anxious emotions and harsh realities are futile.  I cannot do it and truth be known, I don't want to do it this way anymore, not tonight nor any night in the near or distant future.  So I say it out loud... LEAD ME TO THE ROCK THAT IS HIGHER THAN I!  I meditate on it... YOU ARE MY REFUGE AND MY STRENGTH.  I TRUST IN YOU, O GOD!  I remind myself of the truth that I have hidden in my heart... PRAY, SUBMIT THE PETITIONS, BE THANKFUL, AND SHARE THIS ALL WITH MY LOVING FATHER.  

And then the peace that only comes from my Heavenly Father shakes the ugliness of my thoughts surpassing what I can understand.  Truth be known, my friend is still going to wake up this morning to situations that may seem like too much to bear.  My buddy is still going to be picking up the pieces from the train wreck that has hit her home.  My new acquaintances are still going to feel their bodies being non-responsive to just what the doctor ordered.  My sisters are still going to hold their dreams tightly hoping they can one day become reality.  The bedrocks in my life are still filtering through their past and present with hopeful expectation of a better future.

What changes the sleepless moment is the last three words of that beautiful Philippians 4 verse... by Christ Jesus.  It doesn't say, "by April Garner".  It doesn't give me the formula for my strength to be revealed so that worries run and sleep takes over.  I wouldn't even want those things if I could have them because the promise of "by Christ Jesus" is all that my heart desires.  I could preach there, give a little mini sermon.  Instead, I'll just simply remind myself, and maybe one of my readers, of this simple response.  

"By Christ Jesus" is the beautifully wrapped package.  "By Christ Jesus" is the anchor for it all.  "By Christ Jesus" is the sponge bath to the hurt and the sorrow and concern.  

"By Christ Jesus" says it all.  Because when I surrendered my life to Him so many years ago, I'm not sure that I really understood what that would entail.  I understand now.  With years having passed where His hand has held mine relentlessly, I understand.  "By Christ Jesus" is a beautiful surrender in the middle of the ugliest of moments, days, weeks... "By Christ Jesus" means that I don't have to trust myself.  I simply trust Him with me, all of my me, all of my life.